Boys Will Be Boys
by Paintdripps
Summary: If you're a girl in middle school or high school, you've probably had your share of ridiculous encounters with the sometimes annoying, sometimes lovable species we call boys. This is a collection of one-shots full of those. Crack. Warnings inside; author is getting a bit tired of hearing the same old song and dance.
1. Before We Begin, Have Some Warnings

A notice to those reading this story: if you are **easily offended**, this story is probably not for you. I'm sorry to all of you boys who click on this story and then call me a sexist bitch. But if you ask me, poking fun in a cracky humor fic is a heck of a lot less hurtful than centuries of oppression and discrimination.

Also, for those of you on anon who are telling me to "get a life" and that I'm gonna be forever single, kindly refrain from such comments. I apologize in advance for you choosing to read this story. You don't have to read it. You don't have to be offended.

A last note: petty insults don't exactly serve to prove to me that boys are superior to girls.

You've been warned. If your pride is what's on the line, TURN BACK NOW.


	2. Scissors

Yeah, I know. Sorry for not updating. But I needed inspiration. And I got some today!

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.**

Episode 2: Scissors

PERCY AND THALIA

"Hey, Thalia. Did you know that Percy just cut some of your hair off?" A random girl told Thalia.

"WHAT!" Thalia whirled around to face Percy, who was sitting behind her. A pair of shiny metal scissors was in his hand. Thalia's hand went to her black locks. Sure enough, a chunk was missing.

"What the hell, Percy!" she shouted. "Why'd you do that for?"

He shrugged. "Um… I was bored?"

"You are so _annoying_!" Thalia exclaimed. She wrenched the scissors from Percy's grasp. He cried out in pain.

Thalia pinned Percy's head down. He squirmed, trying to escape. Just when she was about to cut off a good-sized piece of hair…

"Thalia Grace, come see me." The English teacher, Mrs. Sharpe, said.

"F*** you, Jackson," Thalia muttered under her breath.

He held up his hands like he was surrendering. "Please don't do that to me. I'm too young!"

She stormed up to Mrs. Sharpe's desk.

"Miss Grace, you cannot pin a student down on his desk and then attempt to stab his head with a pair of scissors," the white-haired old lady lectured.

"I wasn't trying to stab—" Thalia protested, but faltered when she saw the withering glare Mrs. Sharpe gave her.

"As I was saying, you cannot do that."

Thalia hung her head, trying to look pathetic. But where Mrs. Sharpe couldn't see, her face was scrunched up in fury.

_I am going to kill you, Jackson, _she promised herself.

"You may return to your seat."

Thalia trudged back to her desk. Several of her classmates jeered. Percy was smiling at her impishly.

**This happened to me today in English, so yeah. Except my teacher was nice about it. **


	3. Pen Caps

Okay, I got more inspiration… from my little brother, who asked, "What happens to Riptide's cap when Percy uncaps it?" So, I got an idea.

Episode 3: Pen Caps

PERCY AND ZOË NIGHTSHADE 

"What the heck!" Percy shouted, seeing as how the two _empousai_, who apparently were named Stella and Bella, were following him and the Hunter Zoë. "Why don't you go away?"

"You should know that by now, silly hero," purred Stella. She flicked a curl of red hair from her face. Her eyes were acid green. "Dinner, of course!"

"Why can't you just go and _buy _food like normal people? Why do you guys always have to hunt demigods? Because frankly, you usually get killed before you get to eat!" shouted Percy.

"Good point," said Bella, the blond _empousa_. She turned to Stella. "I was thinking… T.G.I. Friday's?"

"Shut up, fool!" Stella commanded. "I want demigod for dinner! End of story!"

Bella wrinkled her nose. "But… he's a son of Poseidon. I don't like seafood!" She pointed at Zoë, the silent Hunter. "And I doubt that _she _is going to taste any better."

Stella groaned. "Stupid." Then she lunged at Percy.

Percy uncapped Riptide and tossed the cap somewhere on the sidelines carelessly. Then he sliced through Stella with it.

"Stay away from me, Fish Boy!" yelled Bella. She stepped on something that went _crunch_ and splintered into a few shards of plastic.

Zoë shot her with a silver arrow, and Bella disintegrated into golden dust.

"Nice one," Percy said. Zoë flashed him a look of irritation.

"I could not let thee handle them all by thyself," Zoë told him.

"Now… where's Riptide's cap?" Percy asked.

Zoë looked around, then gasped. She pointed at the splinters of blue plastic that Bella had stepped on.

"Thy cap has been destroyed." Zoë shook her head. "Now thy sword will no longer transform."

Percy shouted a few choice words that don't belong in a T-rated fanfiction. "So you mean I have to lug this bleepin' thing around with me?" He waved it for emphasis. "It is so freakin' heavy!"

Zoë rolled her eyes and muttered, "Foolish boys…"

So, yeah. There's Episode 3.


	4. Decoding Girls

'**Kay, so here's another episode of BOYS WILL BE BOYS. **

**Disclaimer: You guys already know the drill…**

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><p>Episode 4: Decoding Girls<p>

PERCY AND NICO

Percy stared after the fuming Annabeth. "I really don't understand girls…"

Nico laughed. "Well, today is your lucky day! Because I know somebody who can teach you how to decode girls."

Percy stared at Nico. "Who?"

"Me!"

Percy busted out laughing. "Dude, you're twelve!"  
>"I had an older sister," Nico reminded him.<p>

"Okay, so teach, Obi-Wan." Percy rolled his eyes, still laughing.

"Lesson One: Girls usually mean the opposite of what they say," Nico instructed.

"So… Annabeth thinks I'm a genius?"

"Well… I said _usually_, not all the time."

"This is confusing!" groaned Percy.

"Girls are confusing," Nico told him.

"I already know _that_…"

"Lesson Two," continued Nico, "is that girls pay attention to you if you start paying attention to another girl."

"This is confusing!" Percy shouted again.

"Now try talking to a girl and test out my theories."

Percy shrugged and walked over to Annabeth. "Hi."

"Go away, stupid!"

Percy thought, _So that means, 'Stay here, genius!'_

"Okay." He stood there.

"I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY!" Annabeth screamed. "Why don't you listen?"  
><em>I told you to stay here! Why are you listening?<em>

That _sort of _made sense…

Percy remained rooted to the spot.

"Percy. Why are you still here?" Annabeth asked calmly.

"That's what you wanted, right?"

"No… I wanted you to go away…"

"But Nico said that girls mean the opposite of what they say!"  
>"I said USUALLY!" Nico hollered, from a safe distance away.<p>

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Percy, Nico is _twelve_…"

Percy thought, _Déjà vu_.

* * *

><p><strong>So that's short. Yeah. And maybe sort of dumb. But then, so many boys are dumb…<strong>

**Sorry for making Percy appear so stupid… **


	5. Pep

**I finally got more inspiration… and yes, again from my brother. :D Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Episode 5: Pep<p>

"Okay, Percy—have you ever done pep squad before?" Annabeth asked.

"No," Percy answered truthfully. "Isn't it a girl thing?"

Annabeth glared at him, gray eyes flashing. "That's offensive to girls."  
>"What does…" the question died in his throat; Percy didn't want to seem stupider than he was. He swallowed. <em>What does offensive mean? <em>

Annabeth pushed open the door. "Percy, this is the pep squad. You're going to write their cheer and cheerlead during capture-the-flag."

"Aww… Annabeth!" Percy whined, abandoning any bit of dignity he'd had. "But I don't want to—"

She smirked. "Too bad, Seaweed Brain." She shut the door and locked it from the outside.

Percy stared at the others in the room: a bunch of guys, like him. Finally, he spoke.

"That is so dumb! Why does it lock from the outside? How do we get out?" Percy ranted.

"We don't get out," offered Travis Stoll.

"At least, not until we're done with the routine," added Connor Stoll.

Percy huffed. "Well, that's stupid."

Malcolm of the Athena cabin nodded. "Tell me about it." He scowled. "Annabeth put me up to this."

"So… does anyone know how to come up with a cheer?" Percy asked. "I wanna get out of here fast."

Malcolm answered, "Well, I know that cheers typically start with counting numbers."

"Okay, then I have an idea!" Travis piped up. He leaned in and whispered, "Here's the deal…"

AT CAPTURE-THE-FLAG…

"2! 4! 6! 8!" the pep squad chanted, waving orange pom-poms.

Annabeth heaved a sigh of relief. So far, so good.

The chant continued: "10! 12! 14! 16! 18! 20! 22! 24!"

Annabeth stormed over. "_Di immortales!_" she yelled. "What is wrong with you idiots? That's not even a cheer!"

"Malcolm said that cheers start with counting numbers," Percy tattled, so much like a kindergartner.

"Yes, and then you add words to rhyme!" Annabeth screeched. "STUPID!"

Percy flinched. "Sorry…"

* * *

><p><strong>Ahh… poor, poor Percy… when will he ever learn? <strong>


	6. Coolness

**Okay, so here's episode 6. I hope it's funny! And yes, I know that Nico was just in episode 4, but… it wouldn't work if it was anyone else. XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO or any of its characters.**

* * *

><p>Episode 6: Coolness<p>

PERCY AND NICO

The first thing Nico noticed about Percy was his humungous sunglasses.

They covered most of his face, slipping down his nose every few seconds. The reflective black surface was unnerving; Nico could see himself as he approached Percy.

"Why are you slouching?" Nico asked, noting how Percy leaned against the tree.

"Because I'm cool," Percy answered, adjusting his oversized shades.

"You look like an idiot," Nico commented.

"Shut up, Di Angelo."

"It's true!"

"Fine, then you try being cool!"

"Okay, I will!" Nico stomped off to the Hades cabin.

* * *

><p>Nico returned shortly, wearing a black leather jacket, and ripped up black jeans—in short, the punk look. But that wasn't the weird part.<p>

He was wearing a huge hot pink cowboy hat on the top of his head. And his black t-shirt had a picture of Mickey Mouse on it with silver words that read, "Don't mess with da mouse."

Percy took one look at him and burst out laughing.

"Dude, that hat is so _stupid_! And so is your shirt!" Percy spluttered.

"So? They're 'cool'." Nico stated, as though it should have been obvious.

"It's ridiculous!"

"Your sunglasses are ridiculous."

"No they're not!"

"Actually," Annabeth interrupted, "they are." She smirked.

"Nico looks stupider than I do!" Percy protested.

"Cool shirt, Nico." Annabeth grinned.

"Thanks! It's a collectible!" He stood up taller, beaming.

"No fair," Percy grumbled as Annabeth walked away. "She doesn't count, okay?"

"Okay." Nico shrugged.

"Cool hat," called Connor Stoll as he passed by.

"Nice shirt!" Travis Stoll offered.

"Your shades are dumb, Percy," Clarisse said. "Just in case you wanted to know."

"So… I don't wanna be a butt, but… Me: two! You: negative one!" Nico whooped gleefully. He pumped a fist in the air.

Percy muttered, "Stupid twelve-year-olds…"

* * *

><p><strong>I have no idea where in my brain that came from, but... hope you enjoyed! <strong>


	7. Family

**Enjoy… I hope. I have no idea where this junk came from. Sorry if this is kind of OOC, but this sort of situation was never mentioned in the books. So I have no idea how the characters would react. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO… or HoO. Unfortunately. :P**

* * *

><p>Episode 7: Family<p>

PERCY AND ANNABETH

"No! I am still NOT going to the fireworks with you! Especially not after you put that huge tarantula in my sleeping bag!" Annabeth screamed.

"Respect your elders," Percy retorted.

"My… elders? Percy, I'm a whole month older than you!"

"Yes, but technically I'm your uncle."

"What?" Annabeth rolled her eyes.

"Well, your mom is Athena. And Zeus is Athena's dad. And Poseidon is Zeus's brother. And I'm Poseidon's son. So that makes me your uncle."

"Percy, that's ridiculous!" Annabeth looked at the sky while calculating. Then she choked, horror stricken. "Oh my gods… you ARE my uncle… Well, that's disgusting."

"How is that disgusting?"

"Well, if you're my uncle, and you LIKE me…"

Percy made a retching sound in the back of his throat. "Oh, gross!"

"See?" Annabeth's eyes widened. "Oh my gods, that means… wow. Gross."

"Tell me!" Percy demanded.

"Well, technically Katie is Travis' aunt," Annabeth pointed out.

Percy shouted a bad word. "And they're *unidentified word* dating?"

Annabeth's face was green. "And… technically Silena and Beckendorf would be… siblings. Or at least half-siblings."

"Hey," Percy said. "If Persephone is Demeter's daughter, and Demeter and Hades are siblings, then why is Hades married to his niece?"

"Oh my gods, did they try to have KIDS?" Annabeth was on the verge of throwing up.

"Let's hope not," Percy choked, as some very scarring mental images popped into his brain.

"Um, and let's see… that also means that Thalia and Jason are my aunt and uncle," Annabeth commented.

"That's… bizarre. Isn't Jason, like, a year younger than you?"

"Huh. And Nico is my uncle," Annabeth continued.

"And you're Poseidon's… grand niece. And Zeus is your grandpa. And Kronos is your great-grandpa." Percy pulled a face. "So that means Luke was your great-grandpa during the war? I'm disturbed now."

"He was your great-grandpa too," Annabeth reminded him.

Percy's eyes rounded. "I think I'm gonna be sick…" he groaned before running off to the bathroom.

Annabeth waited outside, feeling sick as she listened to Percy retch over and over.

"Hey, Annabeth. You don't look so good," Katie said as she passed by. "What's wrong?"

"Percy and I… had an interesting conversation. Hey, if Persephone is your mom's daughter, and Hades and Demeter are siblings…"

Katie's eyes bulged. "AH! Gross! Why do you think of these things?" she ran into the bathroom and started vomiting too.

And before long, camper after camper was spewing up their guts in the toilets after hearing about their godly family's relationships.

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R? Please? :D Sorry for any... mental images I gave you. <strong>


	8. Road Trips

**Hooray for dudes at school! I FINALLY got more inspiration for this chapter! Also, thanks to my friend SeaofWisdom18 for inspiring me with... a story from her life. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all right? **

* * *

><p>Episode 8: Road Trips<p>

PERCY AND JASON

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape-"

"Dumbledore!" Percy cried.

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape!" Jason finished.

Annabeth slapped her forehead, momentarily taking her hands off the wheel of the van she was driving. "By the gods, you're driving me crazy! Shut up!" she yelled.

Thalia, who was sitting shotgun, turned around and said, "Quit it."

"Okay..." Jason muttered. "Sorry. But I'm BORED."

"Lollipop, lollipop, oh lolly-lolly-lolly-lollipop!" Percy screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Bum, bum, bum, bum," added Nico from the way way back.

"I HATE that song!" Thalia exclaimed. "Shut up!"

"Okay, jeez!" Percy snapped.

Nico started tapping his foot. _Tap, tap._

Percy began to snap his fingers. _Snap, snap._

Jason banged his knuckles against the window. _Donk!_

_Tap donk tap donk snap snap. Tap donk tap donk snap snap donk tap snap. _

"STOP IT!" Annabeth roared.

There was silence. Then,

_Donk. _

"JASON GRACE!" Thalia boomed.

"Sorry! I couldn't help it!"

"Snape, Snape, Severus Snape-" Nico began.

"Dumbledore!" volunteered Percy.

"Snape, Severus Snape!"

"Lollipop, lollipop, oh, lolly-lolly-lolly-lollipop!"

_Gods help me_, Annabeth prayed.

* * *

><p><strong>You like? :D<br>**

**Review, please!  
><strong>

**-Raven **


	9. Fireworks

**So. First things first.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and subscribed to this story! Umm… I'm too lazy to go count all the names, and besides—there are way too many. But thanks!  
><strong>

**Also, for this chapter, I'm giving credit to Aeron Thana, for giving me the idea. Strangely, I haven't been getting as much material… and I thought that would be impossible. Ah well. So, Aeron Thana (I know you're probably reading this!) thanks a lot. Seriously. :)**

**Disclaimer: Ég átt ekki neitt. That's Icelandic for "I don't own anything." xD**

* * *

><p>Episode 9: Fireworks<p>

TRAVIS AND PERCY

"So are you taking anyone to the fireworks?" Katie ever-so-casually asked Travis.

He shrugged. "Nope."

"What about you, Percy?" Annabeth asked.

Percy looked confused. "Uh... I already told you, I haven't asked anyone yet. Why do you ask?"

"Oh," Annabeth said, "no reason. No reason at all." She blushed.

"Oh, okay!" Percy grinned. "That's good."

"So who do you want to take to the fireworks?" Katie asked Travis.

"Probably some girl."

"Well, that's obvious, unless..." Katie looked stricken suddenly.

"Unless what?"

"Um, you don't really want to know," Katie muttered.

"Same question to you, Percy," Annabeth said.

"What?" Percy cocked his head to the side.

"Who do you want to take to the fireworks?" Annabeth practically shouted.

"I don't know!" Percy shouted back. "Stop asking me all these questions! It's confusing!"

"Forget it! I wouldn't go to the fireworks with you if you were the last boy on Earth!" Annabeth fumed, storming furiously away.

"So that's what this is all about?" Percy asked.

"Yup. You're so clueless, dude!" Travis chuckled.

Katie shrieked. "UGH! I am SICK OF YOU AND YOUR-YOUR IDIOCY!" She stomped off too, muttering under her breath about how boys bungled everything.

"You're calling me clueless?" Percy said incredulously.

"Uh..." Travis was at a loss for words. Then he brightened. "Oh yeah, if you want to get Annabeth to go to the fireworks with you, try doing something really stupid but sweet. Girls love that."

"Okay, thanks. I will." Percy ran to Cabin Two and returned shortly, with a guitar strung over his shoulder.

"Dude, what are you going to do with that?" Travis demanded.

"I'm going to sing her a mushy song. Annabeth, nothing in this world can hide you from my serenade!" Percy raced towards Cabin Six.

"He's going to get himself killed," Travis mumbled.

"_From the moment the lights went off, everything had changed-_"

"Well, he's got good music taste," Travis said. **(A/N: The song is "Back at Your Door" by Maroon 5, if you didn't figure that out. It's epic.)**

"PERCY JACKSON!" Annabeth screamed from the window. "Get the heck out of here!"

"_Lie awake in an empty room, in my head it's all the same-_" Percy faltered.

"PERSEUS! OUT!"

"NO! Your cruel words cannot thwart my love! Stop interrupting!" He started up again. "_Like the taste of the day you left_-"

"I MEAN IT!"

"Aha, your words say no, but your heart says yes!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Annabeth seemed truly lost.

"Will you go to the fireworks with me?"

"Yeah, if it means you'll shut up!"

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><p><strong>Reviews? Please?<br>**

**-Raven**


	10. Straitjackets

**Yay for... strange friends of mine in school. I got more inspiration! ^.^**

**Disclaimer: You guys know what goes here... I hope. **

* * *

><p>Episode 10: Straitjackets<p>

PERCY AND JASON

"Hey Jason!" yelled Percy.

Jason jumped, looking up from his lunch. "Wha-what?"

"Can you help me? I wanna know what it feels like to wear a straitjacket."

Jason shrugged. "Okay."

Percy took off his jacket and turned it around. Then he put it on so that the zipper was on his back. "Okay, dude. Just zip it up."

Jason did, just as Nico walked in.

"Hi guys! What are you-whoa. Jason, why are you touching Percy's zipper?" Nico asked curiously.

Jason and Percy's faces reddened. "It's not what it looks like!" they shouted simultaneously.

"Oooookay," Nico said. "Carry on."

Jason took Percy's jacket sleeves and double-knotted them. Percy's arms were now stuck at their sides.

Jason smirked and knelt down.

Percy asked, "What are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna tie your shoes together," Jason answered, "so you can't walk."

"Oh, okay," Percy said.

Jason continued to tie.

"You know," Nico said casually, "that looks really weird from where I'm standing."

Jason continued fumbling with Percy's shoelaces.

Annabeth walked in. "WHOA!" She immediately walked back out.

"Yup, definitely looks weird," Nico said.

Travis walked in. "Whoa! Go, Jason!"

"Shut up, Travis," Jason hissed through gritted teeth.

"It's not what it looks like!" Percy screamed.

Travis whistled. "Looks pretty strange to me." He winked. "Want me to get the camera? This is _so _going on GodsTube."

"NO!" they yelled.

Nico laughed. "Like I said..."

"Okay, I'm done." Jason stood up and wiped the sweat from his brow.

Percy grinned and started hopping around the room at high speed. "Hey, this isn't so hard. AHH!"

Percy shrieked as he tripped and fell, since he couldn't break his fall, and face-planted into the ground.

"See, this is why most people don't like wearing straitjackets," Nico observed.

"well, I know that NOW!"

Jason whistled and walked out. He yelled over his shoulder, "I had nothing at all to do with this!"

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><p><strong>Weirdly enough, that was a true story from today's lunch. R&amp;R! <strong>


	11. Anger Issues

**So. Before we begin, a little bit of info about my art class.**

**Let's see... um. The teacher has magnets shaped like chewed-up wads of gum all over the whiteboard. There are strange paintings posted all over the room, many of them with dead people lying on the ground. Nice, right?  
><strong>

**So today, I thank my fellow art students for my inspiration. :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or HoO. Happy now? **

* * *

><p>Episode 11: Anger Issues<p>

JASON, NICO, AND PERCY

Thalia paused at the door of the Poseidon cabin. "Percy Jackson!" she shouted. "Open up!"

There was no reply. Weird. Usually, Percy would get in her face and say something like, "I'm kind of busy here, Thalia!"

She pressed her ear against the marble door to see if anyone was home.

"Ohh. Yeah. Right there, Nico. Right there!"

Oh gods. Was that... her little brother?

"Man, you're _tight_," Nico answered. "Hey, are you okay, Jason?"

Thalia was getting mad. Who did that son of Hades think he was, doing... weird-sounding stuff with her brother?

"No," Jason exclaimed. "Thanks to PERCY."

"I'm sorry!" Percy's voice. "I didn't mean to-"

"Sure, sure," Nico responded sarcastically. "You didn't mean to hurt Jason."

"But I didn't mean to!" Percy protested.

"Dude, you freaking PUSHED ME OFF THE SWING!" Jason yelled.

"And his neck got twisted!" added Nico.

"And you cussed me out!"

"But you said that Annabeth was mean!" Percy yelled back.

"Yes, because she slapped Reyna across the face when she said that Luke was too old for her!" Jason explained impatiently.

"But-"

"Dude," Nico interrupted, "you gotta admit, Luke is too old for her. I mean, when they met, she was seven and he was fourteen. Then when he died he was like twenty-three and she was SIXTEEN!"

"Okay, but-"

"AND you stuck clothespins all over my nose and ears! Do you know how much that HURTS?" Jason exploded.

"I don't want to hear it!" snapped Nico. "Into the douche bag corner, Percy!"

"No! I don't wanna stand in the douche bag corner," Percy whined.

"Okay," Jason said. "Then put these on."

"What? Clothespins?"

Thalia opened the door a crack and peeked in. Nobody noticed her.

Nico grabbed the clothespins and took them from Jason. Then he stuck them all over Percy's ears.

"Ow! OWOWOWOW!" screamed Percy girlishly.

"_Now _you go into the douche bag corner," Nico grinned, pointing at a far corner in the Poseidon cabin.

Percy moped and dragged himself into the "douche bag corner".

"THIS HURTS!" he whined.

"Yeah, now you know how it feels!" Jason snapped.

Thalia cleared her throat. Nico and Jason turned to look at her.

"Nico... why are you rubbing Jason's back? And Jason, why are you shirtless?"

"Oh, you see," Nico began, "Jason and Percy had a disagreement."

"So he pushed me off the swing, cussed me out, and pinched me with clothespins," Jason complained.

"His neck got twisted," continued Nico, "so I was massaging it."

"It's still sore."

Thalia stared at the sight before her: Nico, still rubbing her shirtless little brother's back, Percy moping and wincing in the douche bag corner, and Jason groaning every few seconds.

"Yeah, okay," she conceded before leaving, shaking her head.

_Gods, I guess it's true... boys will be boys._

She passed Annabeth. "Percy's in the douche bag corner," Thalia said before continuing on her way.

"Whaa-? _Douche bag _corner?"

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you, art class. :DD<strong>

**Reviews, anyone?**

**-Raven **


	12. Breaking the Record

**Warning: Just don't think wrong. I realize how it sounds. Think how _I _felt when I encountered the two boys... thanks a lot, John and Jeff. You guys rock. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO/HOO. (Too tired to come up with a snappy, sarcastic disclaimer-I just came back from swim practice). **

* * *

><p>Episode 12: Breaking the Record<p>

JASON AND NICO (Hooray for Percy-he's finally getting less stupid-ish).

"Go! Go! GO!" the crowd of demigods cheered one sunny afternoon.

Annabeth and Thalia, who had just arrived, looked at each other.

"What are they _doing_?" Annabeth blurted.

Thalia shrugged. "How am I supposed to know?"

"I'm tired!"

Jason's voice, grumbling over the roar of the crowd.

"Well, you can't stop now! We're too close to stop!"

Nico's voice, high-pitched with strain and excitement.

Annabeth's face flushed. "Are they-"

"NO!" Thalia held up a hand. "Don't give me any mental images, please."

Thalia stopped to wonder why every single time the boys were doing something dumb, her little brother was always in the perverted situations.

"Oh gods, it hurts!" Jason groaned.

"Well, I hurt too, but _I'm _not complaining."

"Next time you have another genius idea, Nico, leave me out of it," snapped Jason.

"But Percy didn't want to-"

"I can see why."

"YEAH! Come on! You guys are so CLOSE!" Travis whooped.

Nico said, "Let's go do this somewhere private-how about the bathroom?"

Thalia's face turned red. Again, who did Nico think he was, messing with her baby brother like that? She stormed her way through the crowd of demigods.

"What in the name of HADES are you idiots DOING!" she roared.

Nico and Jason faced her, surprised.

"Uh..."

"We..."

"It's all Nico's idea!" blurted Jason.

"My knuckles are sore," Nico complained.

Thalia stared at the sight before her: the son of Hades and the son of Zeus, grinding knuckles with both hands while Nico closely watched his wristwatch. "Thirty seconds to go!"

"What are you doing?" Thalia asked again.

"We're breaking the world record for knuckle-grinding," Jason explained.

"Idiots," Thalia muttered.

* * *

><p><strong>Well... Thalia seems to walk in on the awkwardest situations... just to find out that they're completely innocent.<strong>

**John and Jeff, again, I thank you. :DD**


	13. Just Plain Awkward

**Sorry I didn't update... but I JUST got inspiration now. SeaofWisdom18, xXFallenxBlossomxX, and Butterfly of the Dusk know what I'm talking about... (Man, J's a total perv!) **

**Here we go... btw, all of these scenarios are based on the same guy. **

* * *

><p>Episode 13:<p>

Just Plain Awkward

PERCY, JASON AND NICO

Annabeth and Thalia were on their way down to the Long Island Sound for a swim when Percy and Nico suddenly appeared in front of them.

"Hi guys!" Nico said cheerily.

"It's really warm in the water today," Percy said.

"Uh-huh," Annabeth said, not really listening-Percy was wearing a shirt and jacket, but had a towel kilt on his waist,

"Are you wearing PANTS?" demanded Thalia.

"Well, duh." Percy started to take off his towel skirt when Thalia held up her hand.

"Please no, I've had enough flash for a lifetime."

* * *

><p>Reyna walked to the sink to wash her hands. A shirtless Jason walked up behind her.<p>

"Aw! I'm putting on weight!" He made a face as he flexed his biceps.

Reyna choked. "What are you _doing_?"

Jason stopped posing in the mirror, noticing for the first time that she was there. "Oh! Sorry. But while you're here, can you see my lump through my swim shorts?"

"I don't care," Reyna snapped while blushing furiously.

"What?"

"Go ask somebody else, you pervert!"

"Okay. Hey, Percy, can you see my-"

Reyna attempted to tune him out but failed miserably.

"Yeah dude, I can totally see it. You should try one of these." Percy handed Jason a towel.

Great. Now Jason was topless with a towel man-skirt.

"How do I look now, Reyna?"

"Leave me alone..."

* * *

><p><strong>That was perverse. But extremely awkward for me and my friends... Reviews, please! <strong>


	14. Agenda Wrecker!

**SOOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! But I didn't have any good enough material.**

**Before we begin, here are the 411 on the guy this is based off of:**

**If you ask him a question, he'll freeze. Then he'll duck his head under the table and begin shuffling through his backpack randomly. **

**When he pops back up, if you're still waiting for an answer, he says, "What?" as though he didn't already know.**

**If you repeat the question, he goes back to shuffling through his backpack again until you give up.**

**He doesn't like dirty fingernails. **

**OKAY! Well, I just realized how odd this guy is.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO. And I you know what? I never will.**

* * *

><p>NICO AND THALIA<p>

"Hi, Nico," Thalia said as they walked into their homeroom.

"Hi," Nico responded.

Thalia grinned mischievously. "Can I see your agenda?"  
>"Sure," Nico shrugged. He handed it over.<p>

Thalia opened it. On the first page, it said: _This planner belongs to _and then a blank.

Thalia drew her pencil out of her pocket and scribbled on the line: Sparkle Twinkle Dazzle Shine Glow Glitter Glimmer Diamond Ruby Emerald Sapphire Topaz Onyx Garnet Jade Rose Violet Lily Pansy Petunia Red Blue Green Purple Yellow Orange Brown Black Silver Gold Bronze Cinnamon Sassafras Thyme Rosemary Oregano Paprika Chervil Anise Pepper Salt Sugar Spice Everything Nice Kitten Bunny Pocket Mouse Bird Fish Whiskers Mittens Scarves Hats Gloves Lollipop Tootsie Roll Cookie Cake Chocolate Marshmallow Sprinkle Batman Superman Flash Green Lantern Wolverine Professor X Magneto Spiderman Green Goblin Cyclops Adventure Time Finn Jake Bubblegum Marceline Lady Rainicorn Mannish-Man Jiggler Enchiridion Billy Ice King Snowball Snowman Snowstorm Snow-

"HEY!" Nico shouted. "GIVE IT BACK!"

"No!"

Thalia took a highlighter out of her backpack and flipped to the day. She smirked and started drawing Spongebob with a French-style mustache in the English box.

"STOP!" Nico shrieked. "Give it back!"

In response, Thalia drew a bright orange line down Nico's face. "Hold still," she commanded.

"What? No!" Nico jerked away, making the highlighter draw a random dash across his nose.

Thalia snickered and drew a pickle in his Science box.

"Give it back!"  
>This time, Nico succeeded in grabbing back his agenda.<p>

He swore under his breath and pulled out an eraser. He rubbed it furiously on the page.

"Nico?"

"Shut up. I don't want to talk to you, you-you—AGENDA WRECKER!"

"It's not possible. Highlighter doesn't erase."

"Yes it does, if you try really, really hard!" Nico rubbed harder. His eraser was being slowly ground down.

"And you didn't even draw a GOOD Spongebob," Nico complained.

"Better than you," Thalia commented.

"Shut up!"

After ten minutes, Nico screamed. "IT'S NOT ERASING!" He panted heavily, face red with anger. He pulled out a carton of milk from his backpack and began to drink. Milk always calmed him down.

"I told you it's not possible."

"NOBODY ASKED YOU!" Nico stomped his foot and spilled his milk all over the front of his pants and on the ground.

Travis, who had randomly appeared there, shouted, "WHOA! Nico, calm down!"

Nico put his head down as people pointed and laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>Like it? :D<strong>


	15. Give It Back For Me

**Well, thanks to Butterfly of the Dusk for giving me this snippet from her life.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO. I can't think of anything snappy and cool to write here. So that'll have to do. **

* * *

><p>Episode 15: Give It Back For Me<p>

JASON AND THALIA

"Oh, hi big sister!" Jason grinned broadly as he came to Thalia's table at lunch.

"Hi, I guess." Thalia smiled uncertainly.

"Listen, Percy sits here, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh. Can you give him back his pants?"

"Beg your pardon?" Thalia asked, thinking she hadn't heard right.

"Can you give him back his pants?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"No! Percy just gave me his pants. And not his gym shorts. His-freaking-JEANS." Jason unzipped his backpack and rummaged around before pulling out a pair of slightly faded blue jeans, complete with fifty cents in the pocket and a belt still through the belt loops.

"What the-" Thalia spluttered. "You give it to him!"

Jason gave her a sheepish look. "Sorry. Can't. I'm going to singing club with Leo." He rushed off.

"SINGING CLUB?" Thalia spat.

"Oh, hi Thals," Percy said, sitting down with his lunch tray.

"Jason told me to give these to you," Thalia said, handing him the jeans.

"BUT I DON'T WANT THEM BACK! I TOLD HIM HE COULD KEEP 'EM!"

* * *

><p><strong>Well, I'm posting another one today. Still, review this one if you liked it! <strong>

**-Raven**


	16. News Flash

**And this one is from MY daily life. Hope you like it! BTW, I do not make any of these up. They are all real. Believe me, sometimes I wish it were otherwise, but at least it makes homeroom a lot more entertaining.**

**Disclaimer: T.T I don't own anything.**

* * *

><p>Episode 16: News Flash<p>

PERCY, NICO, AND JASON

Percy flipped through the school newspaper. It was all boring. Lame comics. Stupid articles.

Your typical school newspaper, right?

The teacher, Mr. Goat, was on the computer typing the lesson plan away. Great.

Percy grinned and crumpled up the newspaper into a wad.

"Psst! Hey, Nico!"

Nico looked up. "Yeah?"

Percy hurled the newspaper-ball at Nico and hit him in the Place.

"OW! DUDE!" Nico doubled over, wincing.

"Can I see that?" Jason asked, grabbing the paperwad.

"Suit yourself."

Jason chucked it at Reyna's head... and missed, by like a foot.

Reyna looked up from her book. "HEY!" she hissed, and picked up the paperwad. She pitched it at Jason and nailed him in the face.

"Oh jeez!" Jason winced.

"VOLLEYBALL!" hollered Travis, spotting the paperwad, and began tossing it around with Thalia.

Mr. Goat still didn't look up.

Thalia spiked the paperwad. Travis dove for it.

He failed epically, and tripped on flat ground.

"Fail," laughed Reyna, pointing.

Percy grabbed the paperwad from Thalia and chucked it at Reyna too.

He missed. Reyna stuck out her tongue at him.

"Mr. Jackson, would you come see me for a minute?"

He groaned. Of course NOW the dumb teacher chose to look up.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, admittedly that wasn't funny. I think the next one'll be better. <strong>


	17. Great Timing

**Technically, this is old, kind of, but SeaofWisdom18 and Butterfly of the Dusk just pointed out that I should use it NOW. I'd totally forgotten about it.**

**Also, I would be Thalia in this... and Annabeth would be SeaofWisdom18. **

**Last thing: the wannabe pumpkin think belongs to Butterfly of the Dusk. The "For Narnia!" quote is one of my originals. **

**Disclaimer: Me no own PJO, Harry Potter, Narnia, pumpkins, or anything else. **

* * *

><p>Episode 17: Great Timing<p>

THALIA, ANNABETH, AND NICO

"WHY do boys wear skinny jeans if all they're gonna do is sag?" Annabeth demanded to Thalia.

"I don't know," Thalia said. "Nor do I want to know."

"Apparently they think it's _cool_."

"Changing the subject," Thalia said. "Have you seen Luke's hair?"

"What?"

"He bleached it and then dyed it orange."

"So he's a wannabe pumpkin." Annabeth giggled.

"But more like a fail squash," Thalia agreed, and they burst out laughing.

"Wait, what?"

They spun around to find Nico, looking puzzled. "All I heard was 'fail squash'," Nico said. "What are you guys talking about?"

"None of your business."

"Oh, okay." Nico shrugged and walked away.

"You know in math," Annabeth said, "Ms. Bates wanted us to name rational numbers."

"Okay..."

"So Katie said one million, and it ended up going into the irrational numbers list, and Ms. Bates drew this really funny-looking shape around it to separate it from the irrational numbers and it looked like-"

"Okay, I can guess what it looked like." Thalia held up her hand.

Annabeth giggled. "And then... and then Percy said, 'Zero point six.' And Connor added, '...ty nine.'"

Thalia cracked up. "Whoa, seriously?"

Annabeth nodded. "And Ms. Bates was all like, 'Why did I decided to teach teenagers?' and all that. Then there was this awkward silence... because Ms. Bates started laughing about the number."

"Well, you know what I always say to do in an awkward silence..."

"What?"

"FOR NARNIA!" Thalia screamed, pretending to draw a sword and wave it in the air.

"Okay, what's going on?"

Big surprise. Nico was back, just within earshot to have heard the "FOR NARNIA!" bit.

"Go away, Nico," Thalia sighed.

"Um, okay..."

"Why does he always come at the worst times?" inquired Annabeth.

"I have no idea."

* * *

><p>THE NEXT DAY...<p>

"Doesn't Mr. Harringbone remind you of Lord Voldemort?" Thalia asked Annabeth on the way to the cafeteria.

"Oh yeah, huh?"

"I mean, his skin is all clammy and pale and ugly like Lord Voldemort."

"I can just picture him going, 'AVADA KEDAVRA!' the next time Percy says something dumb in class," Annabeth laughed.

"I AM LORD VOLDEMORT!" Thalia imitated Mr. Harringbone's nasal voice. "HAH! LORD VOLDEMORT POWERS! AVADA KEDAVRA, YOU NITWITS! AND ALBUS DUMBLEDORE IS NO MATCH FOR ME BECAUSE HE'S AN ANDROID!"

"Hey," Annabeth said, "why isn't Nico here?"

"Well, I'm here now."

They jumped, startled. "OH MY GODS, ARE YOU STALKING US?"

* * *

><p><strong>I do not make these up. Seriously. <strong>

**Review! :D**


	18. Poke Poke Poke

**Well... this guy is... annoying to say the least. Also, I'm finally putting Leo and Hazel in here!**

**Right, one more thing... to those of you people who've told me this is stupid... I KNOW. It's in the name of humor... and showing you guys a bit of my daily life. I mean, my life is stupid. Nobody knows that better than me.**

**And to you boys: I don't really mean offense to those of you who aren't so annoying and stupid. This is just... a few snippets from the guys at my school. **

**Once again: I did NOT make this up. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Since when do I ever? **

* * *

><p>Episode 18: Poke Poke Poke<p>

LEO AND HAZEL

"Okay, go work on the worksheet," Ms. Mill said. "And don't bother me, I'm going to be on the phone with Mr. Eisenhower."

A few kids stifled giggles, as it was widely known that Ms. Mill fancied Mr. Eisenhower, the assistant principal (even though Mr. Eisenhower was married and had a daughter).

Of course, the instant Ms. Mill turned her back and turned on the phone, the room was thrown into complete chaos.

Leo immediately brought out his iPod and started tapping it.

"Leo," Hazel said, "what are you doing?"

Leo paid no mind to Hazel and continued tapping away, using his textbook as a cover in case anyone came by.

"Leo," Hazel said again.

"Huh? What?" Leo looked up at last.

"What are you doing?'

"What does it look like?" Leo snorted. "I'm playing a game. Duh."

Then he went right back to his game, occasionally whisper-screaming, "NO! Stop dying! NO! NO! NOOOOO!"

Hazel tried to concentrate, but it really was hard when there was some idiot tapping away.

"At least make it look realistic," she advised. "You've been staring at the same page for the past ten minutes."

Leo shrugged, still absorbed in his game. "I'm a slow reader."

"Your worksheet is blank."

Leo exhaled sharply, frustrated, and reached up with his free hand to grab his pen. "There," he said. "I'm so _obviously_ writing."

"Your worksheet is blank and upside down."

"What?" He looked up and blushed. Then he quickly turned the page right-side up.

"Good job," Hazel commented sarcastically.

"Thanks." Then he flipped the textbook page. "There, happy?"

"You're, like, four chapters ahead of us now."

"Oh. Whoops." Leo made no effort to change the page and instead kept poking away.

"You know," Hazel said, "from over here it looks like you're poking the word 'shogun' in the textbook."

"Stop talking to me! NO! My tank just died!" Leo's eyes blazed with fury. He huffed and flipped the page back to the correct lesson and resumed poking the screen.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

He was driving Hazel crazy, and now it looked like he was poking a picture of the First Crusade and muttering, "No! Stop dying!"

"We have two minutes before the bell," Hazel told him.

"Great. I have two minutes to buy soldiers."

"What?"

"You buy soldiers in this game."

"Can't you, like, make them?"

"What, you think I can poop out troops? Nuh-uh."

"No, not like that-"

"Do I look like a My Little Pony to you? HUH? Do I? Well, maybe Fluttershy poops out rainbows and glitter, and Butterscotch poops out candy and butterscotch, but I DO NOT POOP OUT SOLDIERS."

"I thought vampires pooped glitter," Hazel remarked.

"WELL THEY DON'T!"

Then the bell rang.

* * *

><p><strong>So, uh... I would be Hazel. <strong>

**Reviews would be awesome. :DD**


	19. And Then?

**Sorry for not being here in a while... I had no inspiration. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Nor will I ever.**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Episode 19: And Then?

PERCY, NICO, AND ANNABETH

Percy squinted suspiciously at the coach. "So, after we do another fifty-yard sprint, we get to go home."

"After cool-down, yes." Coach Tracey looked at him curiously.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"So it's fifty-yard sprint."

"Yes. Jeez!"

"And then?"

"And then... cool-down."

"And then?"

"And then... you go home. Have a nice day, bye-bye!" Coach Tracey rolled her eyes.

"And then?"

"And then... I see you on Wednesday."

"And-"

Annabeth cut Percy off. "Be quiet!"

"And then?" he asked, ignoring her.

"And then you do fifty push-ups, Percy." Coach Tracey was grinning.

"And then?"

"And then you never get to go home."

"And then?"

"And then I turn you into a sheep using magic and you go live on a farm with Nico."

"I don't own a farm," Nico said, surprised.

"Well, I'll give you one."

"Sweet! So I can, like, shave Percy and sell his fleece for money?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

Annabeth snorted. "Bet he's, like, worth three cents a pound."

"Hey!" Percy ran a hand through his windswept black hair. "For hair like this? No way."

Nico dug in his pockets. "I know I have scissors SOMEWHERE here!"

"STAY AWAY FROM MY HAIR!" Percy screamed, sprinting down the track.

Coach Tracey stopped the timer as he passed the fifty-yard mark. "Wow, Percy, you beat your best time!"

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah. So... reviews would be really, really, really awesome. <strong>


	20. Cooties? Still?

**Thanks to Percabethandfaxlover for getting me back into the swing of things. Lately, I've pretty much forgotten about (there's a shocker!). I hope you guys haven't forgotten about me, though. So sorry about not updating, but I've been busy. And I've had a lot of material, but not… good material.**

**Right. Again, I've been getting quite a few reviews saying how stupid and sexist this is. Stupid? Admittedly, yes. But isn't that the goal of humor? Sexist? Again, admittedly, yes. Announcement: to you boys out there who don't do such stupid things, this wasn't supposed to be against you. This was supposed to be… a view into MY life, MY experiences, MY laughs. So, um, sorry. **

**Wow, I hit twenty! :DD **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Nor will I ever. Well, I own the apology shown above. That's it.**

* * *

><p>Episode 20: Cooties? <em>Still?<em>

NICO AND RACHEL

Boys and girls can be _just friends_, can't they?

Unfortunately, most adults (and highschoolers) don't seem to think so.

As Nico and Rachel walked down the hall, chatting and laughing like the best of friends, they ran into Ms. Linares.

"Rachel! How's my favorite Algebra II student?" Ms. Linares asked warmly.

Rachel blushed. "Fine, thanks!"

"And who's your friend? I don't believe I have him in any of my classes…" Ms. Linares peered at Nico curiously over the rim of her spectacles.

"He's in Geo," explained Rachel.

"Hi," Nico said, waving.

"He's a nice boy," Ms. Linares commented, which made Rachel flush a bit more. "Are you two a couple?"

"What!" Nico spat.

Rachel's face promptly turned the same shade of red as her hair. "No!"

"Girls have cooties!" Nico yelled.

"I was just asking," the Algebra II teacher said, taken aback.

"Girls don't have cooties!" Rachel shrieked.

"I thought the cooties didn't live past the second grade." Ms. Linares was, in fact, thoroughly baffled.

"Apparently not," Rachel huffed.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews would be nice. Yes, it's short, I know. I'm hoping to get another chapter up later today or tomorrow.<strong>

**And someone give Percabethandfaxlover a round of applause for reminding me that Boys Will Be Boys needed to be updated! ^.^**


	21. The Slanguage of Today

**Hmm. My friend pointed out to me this:**

"**2010: people say, 'Cool story, bro. Tell it again.'**

**1910: people say, 'Jolly good tale, my brother! Please do tell it again!'"**

**See the difference? :D**

**Anyway, this one doesn't completely apply to just guys. I'm sure that some of you girls have said, "Cool story, bro," or, "You mad, bro?" or, "It's over nine thousand!" (I still can't believe it originated from Dragon Ball.) **

**I know _I_ have.**

**Anyway, on with the chapter! I own nothing! As usual! This disclaimer thing is getting old!**

* * *

><p>Episode 21: The Slanguage of Today<p>

ENTIRE CAST OF PJO (well, almost)

"What happened to Clarisse?" Connor wondered out loud as the group sat down at their table for lunch.

"Dunno," Percy responded. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen her in a while."

"Maybe," Travis said, "she looked in a mirror and died."

"Travis!" Katie shook her head. "That's not nice!"

"Wait," Annabeth said. "Did you just say that _Katie_ looked in a mirror and died?"

"What? No!" Travis said quickly, shooting a glance at Katie.

"Well now, that's insulting," she sniffed. "I'm not _that_ ugly, am I?"

"Actually…" Connor began, but Travis elbowed him in the ribs. "Hey! I was kidding! You didn't have to do _that_."

"Cool story, bro," Nico piped up. "Tell it again."

Thalia laughed, snorting milk out her nose. "My gosh, Nico. Since when do you have a sense of humor?"

"I don't know, I just wanted to say that."

Connor grumbled, "I can't believe I just got cool story bro'd by Nico!" He stood up and gave Nico a deluxe cranium noogie.

"Ow!"

"You mad, bro?" Connor smirked.

"You jelly I'm not mad, bro? Or are you mad I'm not jelly?" Nico retorted.

Thalia laughed again, then clapped a hand over her nose. "Jeez! Stop making me laugh! I don't _like_ having milk come out of my nose!"

"My god, Mount Vesuvius is erupting! Run for your lives!"

"Shut UP, Percy!" Thalia punched him in the shoulder.

"OW! Don't punch me! It hurt! As in, over _nine thousand_!"

"Cool story bro! Tell it again! Tell your family! Tell your friends!" singsonged Nico.

Annabeth shook her head. "Wow, Nico. I never knew you were actually in touch with slanguage."

"Hey, I try."

* * *

><p><strong>For Nico's singsong part, if you want to know how the rhythm goes, it's<strong>

**"Coooool-story-bro! Tell-it a-gain! Tell-your fa-mily! Tell-your-friends!" **

**Hyphenated spaces indicate dragging out the word. **


	22. Prank Time

**Right. I haven't updated in quite a while, have I? **

**And I know I _really_ should update Octavian's House of Horrors. *Wince* I'll get onto that when I have some free time… although the gods know I don't have much of that.**

**Anyway… say thanks to I'mjustthatawesome99 for bringing me back. Reviews are probably the only things that remind me exists (bad, right?) **

**In order to understand this chapter, know that I participate in swim team. And, uh, the guy who is Percy in this chapter thinks that this other guy—which'll be Luke—keeps taking his shirt and throwing it on the ground. "Luke" never could prove he wasn't doing it. And "Luke" left for another sport, and whenever "Percy's" shirt is on the ground, he blames "Luke's" ghost. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Since when have I ever?**

* * *

><p>Episode 22: Prank Time<p>

PERCY, TRAVIS, AND ANNABETH

Travis leaned confidentially towards Annabeth.

"Okay, so here's the deal," he whispered. "Remember 'Luke's ghost'?"

Annabeth rolled her eyes, remembering how back when Luke was on swim team, Percy had constantly blamed him for throwing his shirt on the ground (in reality, it just got knocked down randomly by other team members).

"How could I forget?" she muttered.

Luke had left swim team eventually, and whenever Percy's shirt got knocked on the ground, he blamed "Luke's ghost."

"He's still out there," Percy had once said. "He's still haunting me and my shirt!"

"Dude," Annabeth had retorted, "first of all, he would have to be dead to be a ghost. And Luke isn't dead."

"You're just defending Luke 'cause you used to like him!"

"Eww! No way!"

That had evolved into a full-on argument, and they had both ended up doing push-ups for being too noisy.

"Let's get out of the pool before Percy and throw his shirt on the ground," Travis said. "It'll be funny."

"Sure, okay," Annabeth agreed.

* * *

><p><em>At the end of practice…<em>

* * *

><p>"Hurry, Annabeth!" Travis shouted. He had already jumped out of the pool and was now dripping water all over the ground.<p>

"I'm coming!" she snapped, pushing herself up onto the ledge and pulling her body out.

Travis grinned gleefully as he grabbed Percy's green shirt and dropped it on the ground.

Percy climbed out just then. His eyes widened.

"I WILL GET YOU SOMEDAY, LUKE! I PROMISE!"

* * *

><p><strong>Not my funniest one ever, admittedly.<strong>

**Review anyway! They remind me that you guys are waiting on the next chapter! **


	23. Me and My Convoluted Mouth

**Well, I'm back sooner than expected. **

**Hope this one's funnier than the last!**

**Hmm. Let's see… 11 reviews for one chapter! YAY! That definitely made me happy. My goal for this chapter: get 12! Since I got… roughly 122 visitors on last chapter, I definitely think that 12 reviews is possible.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not PJO, not the swimming pool, not even this computer.**

* * *

><p>Episode 23: Me and My Convoluted Mouth<p>

PERCY, TRAVIS, AND ANNABETH (again!)

As Percy got out of the pool, he heaved a sigh of relief. His shirt wasn't on the ground. And it was a good thing, too: the ground was heavily drenched with chlorine water.

"Well, that was a fun practice," Annabeth said.

"No kidding. I'd missed doing butterfly!"

Suddenly, something whipped him in the back. It whacked him again and again, leaving a stinging red mark.

"HEY!" Percy turned to find Travis smacking him with a rolled-up towel. "Oh, I thought you were… never mind."

"What!" Travis smirked. "You thought I was Nico pretending to be Nico's ghost pretending to be Luke's ghost pretending to be Luke?"

"What?" Percy said, utterly lost.

"That made no sense whatsoever, Travis," Annabeth remarked.

"Well, it made sense to ME…"

"But not to the rest of the world," muttered Percy.

A raindrop fell from the sky and landed on Percy's head just as he finished drying it. It was followed by another… and another… and another…

The raindrops were huge and fat, and when they landed on a surface they exploded into a rather large puddle of water.

"My gods!" Annabeth exclaimed. "I wonder what brought on this rain?"

"Oh, so Luke's ghost can't throw down my shirt today, so he just lets the rain run? Curse you, Luke!" Percy shouted to the sky, shaking his fist at the gray clouds.

"Luke's never coming back to swim team, you know that?" Travis asked Percy.

"No, he'll be back once I'm in college…"

"Which will be never," Annabeth joked.

"Exactly!" Percy nodded. "So Luke will never come back! And I LIKE it that way!"

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys liked this one. :D Reviews would be greatly appreciated and might speed me up again!<strong>

**And hopefully I can reach my goal of 12 reviews for this chapter.**


	24. Come On, Bop It!

**Anyone here ever played Bop? No?**  
><strong>I don't own PJO, Bop, Bop It, or any other random thing I say in here.<strong>

* * *

><p>Episode 24: Come On, Bop It!<p>

ANNABETH, PERCY, AND NICO

"It's a simple game," Annabeth explained. "But you have to be good with numbers."

Percy began to feel a bit nervous.

"You have to count, but say bop on seven, multiples of seven, numbers with seven in them, and double numbers like eleven and twenty-two. Got it? One."

"Two," Nico said.

"Three?" Percy hedged.

"Four."

"Can I play?" interrupted Travis, who had seemingly come out of nowhere.

"We're playing bop," Annabeth snapped. "And no, you can't."

"But I'm good at bop!"

"Fine," Annabeth relented. "One."

"Two," Nico said again.

"Three," Percy said more confidently.

"Bop!" cried Travis gleefully.

"NO!" Annabeth smacked him. "Only on seven, multiples of seven, numbers with seven in them, and double numbers!"

"Bop!" Travis said again.

"Four," said Annabeth exasperatedly.

"Bopbopbopbop—"

"Five," Nico said.

"Bopbopbopbop—"

"Um, bop?" Percy guessed.

"No, you're out."

"Darn."

"One." Nico turned to Annabeth.

"Two."

"Three."

"Bopbopbopbopbop—"

"SHUT UP!" Percy shoved him away.

"Four."

"Five."

"Six."

"Come on, Bop It!" Nico laughed. Annabeth snickered before her turn.

"Eight."

"Nine."

"Ten."

"Eleven."

"Nico, you lose. Eleven's a double number!"

"How?"

"Eleven. One-one!"

"No, I don't get it…"

"I GIVE UP!" Annabeth left in search of someone else to play.

"Bopbopbopbopbop-"

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><p><strong>Yes, this actually happened to me. Unfortunately. Review! <strong>


	25. Perfumania

**I'm back! And faster than usual! XD**

**Have any of you guys read my friend SeaofWisdom18's fics? If you have, what would you think if we made an account together and wrote, using our combined humor skills, only humor stories?**

**Anyway…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. As usual.**

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><p>Episode 25: Perfumania<p>

THALIA, TRAVIS, AND CONNOR

Thalia was talking to her friends pleasantly, having a good time, when suddenly out of nowhere a piece of bread covered in partially melted butter sailed through the air and landed on her head.

"What the—" She whirled around and found Connor laughing at Travis.

"OHH! You are a _dead man_!" Connor shouted.

Travis grinned. "You haven't seen anything yet, bro."

He picked up Nico's backpack and hurled it at Thalia, hitting her squarely in the shoulder.

Since schools require students to carry so many heavy textbooks, it hurt quite a lot.

Thalia growled. This wasn't the first time, either.

She stormed over to the two laughing boys and roared, "What is _wrong with you_?"

"Hey, ease off," Travis said.

"ARGH!" Thalia reached into her pocket and pulled out a Pomegranate Passion scented aerosol spray.

She tore off the cap and let loose all over Travis.

"Are you going to leave me alone, or do you like smelling like a girl?" Thalia taunted.

"I… like smelling like a girl," Travis said boldly.

Thalia pulled out a second bottle. This one was Annabeth's, and though no one ever said it to her face, it smelled awful. It was supposed to be cucumber melon, but it smelled more like boiled cabbage.

She sprayed all over Travis.

He coughed. "Oh, man! What is this?"

"Cucumber melon," she informed him brightly. Then, "Annabeth doused me in this once, and I was stuck with the smell for a full day."

"OH MAN!" Travis turned tail and fled.

"Dude…" Nico said. "Why do you smell like a girl?...And can I have my backpack back?"

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><p><strong>True story. :D<strong>


	26. Friendfiction?

**GRANT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I DO NOT LIKE BRANDON AND HE DOES NOT LIKE ME! STOP PAIRING US UP IN STORIES!**

**I'm sorry, I just had to write that… my friend is writing a sort of fanfiction, except using his friends as characters.**

**I have no idea why I count as his friend, since he seems to enjoy beating up my character or mocking me through stories. I am seriously beginning to reevaluate exactly why on earth I ever was friends with him.**

**Moving on from my social life…**

**Sorry if Leo's OOC this time around, I'm trying to personify my "friend" using him. Ugh. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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><p>Episode 26: Friendfiction?<p>

BASICALLY WHOLE CAST OF PJO

Annabeth Chase was not amused.

Leo had started writing what he called "friendfiction," which was basically fanfiction, except with his friends.

That wasn't the bad part. Annabeth approved of the fact that Leo was voluntarily participating in an academic project with great enthusiasm.

Oh, no. The bad part-wait, no, _parts_, as in more than one—were:

"Part One" was a thirty-three freaking page long document.

It was written in script form, which seriously got on her nerves.

Her character swore a lot.

Leo had made a bunch of weird pairings.

Seriously. He shipped Nicobeth and Prachel (WHAT? WHAT? PERCY WAS HERS!).

Annabeth did _not_ like the fact that her character called Nico's character "honey" on a regular basis. Or the fact that his character called her character "sweetie" on a regular basis. Or the fact that in the story, Percy and Rachel were absolutely _smitten_ with each other.

Another annoying part? He'd gotten their personalities all wrong.

Annabeth herself was a total bitch with a very foul mouth in the story. Percy was the underdog who was constantly getting beat up and turned into a pitiful mess. Rachel was a ditzy, My Little Pony-loving weakling. Nico was the tragic hero who was rivaled by Leo and was constantly sacrificing himself and getting injured/killed. And Leo himself was Mr. Cool Guy.

Together, they made up Team My Little Pony! (Named, supposedly, by Rachel).

That wasn't all—Thalia was an antagonist in the story, a leader of a team called "Team Bitch." Team Bitch also consisted of Hazel (what? But Hazel was so nice!), Piper (um, Piper wasn't a bitch…), and Reyna (…she could be harsh sometimes, but really Leo? Really?).

Oh, Leo had a lot to answer to.

* * *

><p>THE NEXT DAY…<p>

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><p>"WHAT THE HADES, LEO?" yelled Piper over the usual roar of the lunchtime crowd. "I HAVE A PIPER PILE DRIVE? AND A PIPER PUNCH? AND A PIPER KICK? YOU'RE MAKING ME SOUND LIKE CAPTAIN FALCON!"<p>

Leo grinned. "Cool, right?"

"No, it's not cool!" Piper growled.

"Chill, Beauty Queen. It's all just for fun."

Percy tilted his head and asked, "How come you broke my spine in the story?"

Leo sighed impatiently. "Percy, Percy, Percy. If you ever feel like making an effort in life, you'll read the story more closely and see that Piper did it."

"No, I meant why did you write that my spine got broken? I use that!"

"Plot twist."

"… You also referred to me as a pitiful weakling."

"If you'll recall, Reyna did that."

"But—never mind. That's actually totally something Reyna would say."

"Exactly."

"HEY!" Reyna snapped. "I'm right here! If you're going to talk about me, at least go somewhere else, you idiotic, feeble-minded—"

Leo and Percy both bit back smiles.

Rachel's complaints were next. "I don't like My Little Pony! And why am I so ditzy?"

Leo was silent.

Annabeth fired at him, "And why do I cuss so much? I don't usually… ugh. And why am I so obsessed with power? Huh? Am I supposed to be some kind of psychotic murderer?"

"No, you're a silly girl with dreams of being the strongest person in the universe. Unfortunately, that spot is taken up by me and the bad guys, since the bad guys are almost always stronger than the good guys."

"!" Annabeth spat.

Nico spoke up. "Why do you keep pairing me up with Annabeth? That's DISTURBING!"

"It's not that disturbing… hey, Nico, I was actually thinking of making a spin-off story centered around you!"

"Is there more Nicobeth in it?" he inquired warily.

"Yes, and there's… um… a sex scene."

"WHOA! WHAT?" demanded Annabeth. "Is this supposed to be PG-13? 'Cause if it is, you just made the whole thing R."

"Well, obviously I'm not going to give details on that, you sicko! ONLY YOU WOULD THINK LIKE THAT!"

"No, only you would," Rachel retorted.

"Yeah, but you're the one who was laughing about the number 69 last year!"

"Yeah, 'cause I thought it was so weird that that number meant… that…"

"Leo, please tell me you're done with your story," pleaded Piper.

"Not even close. I was thinking a trilogy originally, but… it's too long. Maybe five parts?"

"NO!" the answer was unanimous.

"Okay, okay, sheesh…"

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><p><strong>Funny? Yes or no? Hopefully yes… or at the least, that it was entertaining…<strong>

**I'll try to update more regularly… **


	27. A Room

**Today I was scarred for life. Again. **

**Except this time, it was not because of health class.**

**Let's just say, I'm officially afraid of this one guy in my science class now…**

**Anyway, for anyone who has time: Google search "doodlydoodledot" and then put "blogspot" after it. For some reason, I can't put the link in. But there should only be one search result. Click it. **

**This is a blog that I'm doing with some of my friends. If you're ever bored, you'll have us. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own whatever random junk comes out into this chapter…**

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><p>Episode 27: A Room<p>

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><p>PERCY, REYNA, AND TRAVIS<p>

Reyna was too busy laughing at one of Percy's idiot wisecracks to notice the strange look Travis was giving them.

Percy and Reyna were desk partners in science class. Before they'd had to sit next to each other, they hadn't really talked to each other much before.

But now, they'd gotten to know each other better and had become friends. Percy was one of the few people in the school who could make Reyna laugh. And Reyna was one of the few people in the school who could explain Chemistry so that Percy could understand it well.

Unfortunately, some idiots thought that this meant they liked each other.

Like Travis, for instance.

"You two need to get a room," Travis commented completely out of the blue that afternoon.

"Why?" Reyna asked.

"Because. You two need to get a room."

"We're _in _a room, Travis." Percy gestured around him broadly. "This is the Chemistry room."

"Oh, that explains it. Because you two have really good chem—"

"Shut up," Reyna snapped.

"But seriously, you two need to get a room. Like, a hotel room or something."

"Dude, I don't have enough money for a hotel room. And why would I even need that?" Percy returned.

"You know, for… that."

"I don't know. For what?" Percy said, feigning cluelessness.

"You guys need a room."

"I _have _a room," Reyna stated. "At my house."

"Yeah. I have one at _my _house too," Percy added.

"No, I meant you two need a room together."

"We _are _in a room together. This is our SCIENCE CLASSROOM. IT IS A ROOM."

"You need a room to do this." Travis held up a calculator and punched in a two digit number.

"Oh, cool, sixty-nine," Percy said. "Twenty-three times three. So we need to do math?"

"You should just give up now," Reyna informed Travis.

"… …"

"Seriously, you need to give up. Like now. Percy's unstoppable once he gets on this track."

"You mean, once he gets on—"

Reyna got up and left, thoroughly disturbed and disgusted.

Percy stared at Travis. "I have a girlfriend, dude."

"Yeah, I know."

"Annabeth's going to kill you when she hears about this…"

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><p><strong>Basically, this is how my science class went today. Except for the last part about Annabeth. <strong>

**Although, you have to admit, my desk partner is **_**really **_**good at deflecting statements. **


End file.
